Shoot for the moon

A tweet by @tim_weeks (a fabulous personal trainer I follow on twitter) last week about the importance of setting goals got me thinking.  I’m not very good without a focus to my life, or without goals to strive for.  I think I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post that before coming to live in India, I worked in the City; which was rewarding and soul destroying in equal measures.  However, what my previous life did give me, was a purpose, a focus, goals to strive for: reaching my sales targets, being promoted to MD.  Whatever it was, it gave me direction and structure.  Moving to India, I lost all of that (as I don’t work here in the true sense) and my life no longer had any formal structure; I would drift from one day to the next, without ever really (in my mind anyway) achieving anything worthwhile.  Obviously I had the house in India to run (and believe me it takes more effort than I can articulate in this blog post), and being a supportive wife to the Domestic Prince, however, I wasn’t really doing anything for me and I kinda lost my way.  Launching, running and trying to take The Domestic Princess to the next level has helped me to become “me” again, if that makes sense.  What I’ve learnt from the last few years is that I need to have a purpose, direction and goals in my life.

Despite being a bit, ok, a major type-A personality (known for their goal-setting tendencies), the truth is, goal-setting is extremely important for everyone to help with our overall happiness and wellbeing.  Studies have shown that by setting goals, no matter how small, gives us direction, without which we can feel lost.  Having goals focuses our energy and helps us work towards things that are valuable and important to us.  Without them, we can feel as if we’re flailing, or aren’t sure about where our lives are heading.  By setting goals, it can help us get back on course and find our mojo.  Without goals, there can’t be accomplishments. You will know from experience that every time you reach your goal, you’ve proven to yourself that you are capable of achieving something, which in turn will boost your self-esteem and hopefully help you believe in yourself.  Also, goals help us to go out of our comfort zone (launching The Domestic Princess and putting myself “out there” in the public domain, certainly put me out of my comfort zone) and to take-on, and experience new and exciting challenges.  There was a BBC programme a few years go called “The Science of Happiness“, where they looked at different studies and research from around the world to see what makes us happy.  One of their findings was that setting goals for the long-term helps contribute towards our enduring happiness.  Chatting through this post with the Domestic Prince, he brought some interesting points up.  For example, why do million and billionaires carry on working when they clearly aren’t doing so just for the money?  Or, the flip-side to this, is why do lottery winners quite often go off the rails after their win when they’ve given up work?  Or probably one of my favourite examples of goal setting, is why do athletes do what they do, when the compensation they have traditionally received for doing what they love, is so poor compared to say footballers?  Well, it’s all because of goals, or in the case of the lottery winners, the lack of them.

Before seeing Tim’s tweet last week, my attention had already been turning to the future; more so than normal.  I’m not quite sure what prompted these prolonged thoughts…maybe it’s the fact the Domestic Queen has a form of dementia and I don’t know how much longer she’ll be around (gulp); maybe it’s the fact the big four oh is looming, or perhaps it’s because the Domestic Princess is going from strength to strength (thank you for your support!), or it could be that I fulfilled one of my goals a couple of weeks ago when we went to the Singapore Grand Prix.  Who knows?  But all of this culminated in me thinking….”what next”? “what do I want to achieve over the next x number of years?”  So, last night I sat down and put together some of the things I’m looking to achieve.  I was going to do forty things to do before I’m forty, however, there’s so much I want to achieve, some of which are longer term goals, which probably can’t be achieved within the next 18 months, that I’ve just decided this is a list of goals to strive for.  This list is by no means complete.  I am sure I’ll be adding to it as and when another aspiration/goal comes into my mind.  I’ll keep you posted on my progress!  Oh, and it’s not in any particular order either – it’s completely random!

1. Go cage diving with sharks
2. Swim with dolphins
3. Have my cookery book published
4. Design and live in my dream house
5. Walk the Great Wall of China
6. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
7. Spend New Year’s in Sydney, Australia
8. Party at the Rio Carnival
9. Go to the Men’s Wimbledon tennis finals
10. Go on a safari in Africa
11. Have my own column in a magazine
12. Tour Uluru on the back (I’m too chicken to be in charge) of a Harley Davidson
13. Visit the Marlborough wine region in New Zealand
14. Drive across the US on Route 66
15. Reach my goal weight and maintain it
16. Run 10k non-stop
17. Be able to do 10 unassisted pull-ups
18. See the cherry blossom in Japan
19. See the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis)
20. See Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe
21. Find my abs(!)
22. Learn to surf
23. Start playing tennis again
24. Learn to play golf
25. Have my own cookery television programme
26. Take the Leiths Cookery School Diploma in Food & Wine
27. Set up and run my own highly successful business
28. Watch a Chloe runway show at Fashion Week
29. See a ballet at The Royal Opera House
30. Learn how to make French macarons
31. Learn how to make pasta
32. Live in Manhattan
33. Be able to confidently ski a black/double diamond black run without the aid of copious G&Ts or bombardinos
34. Be able to do a fishtail plait on myself
35. Make The Domestic Princess a lucrative venture
36. Ride a gondola in Venice, Italy
37. Go to a music festival – glamping style!
38. Fully understand US politics
39. Learn how to do “smokey eye” make-up
40. Take singing lessons (so many people in my life will be grateful for this one!)
41. Fly in a private jet
42. Complete The Times crossword (I’m nearly there!)
43. Learn how to make mozzarella
44. Visit Tuscany, Italy
45. Ride on the Orient Express
46. Visit the Champagne region
47. Watch the lighting of the christmas tree at the Rockefeller Center in NYC
48. Complete Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution program
49. Watch all the old MGM musical movies
50. Read (or re-read) all the books on the BBC – The Big Read – Top 100 Books

I would love to hear if you’re a goal setter and if they’re important to you?  Do you feel you’ve lost your mojo when you aren’t striving towards something?  Have you got a list of aspirations / goals?  And if so, I’d love to hear about them.

With much love
The Domestic Princess
xoxo